The new U.S. Army manual for troops heading east apparently blames the tendency of Afghanistan’s U.S.-trained soldiers and policemen to shoot their Western “allies” on “American cultural ignorance.” Fortunately, the manual offers a solution:

The draft leaked to the newspaper offers a list of “taboo conversation topics” that soldiers should avoid, including “making derogatory comments about the Taliban”…

I mean, it’s not like they’re the enemy or anything.

. . . “advocating women’s rights,” “any criticism of pedophilia,” “directing any criticism towards Afghans,” “mentioning homosexuality and homosexual conduct” or “anything related to Islam.”

Stick to safe topics like the weather, the impressive increase in opium production, and how hot the local warlord’s child bride looks now she’s back in the burka. Then, after handing your trainee his weapon, try to back out of the room slowly without catching his eye.

As Scaramouche says, don’t let’s be beastly to the Taliban.