Congresswoman Heather Wilson, First Congressional District of New Mexico

Stay away from the kitchen (the abuser can find weapons, like knives, there)

Stay away from bathrooms, closets or small spaces where the abuser can trap you

Get to a room with a door or window to escape

Get to a room with a phone to call for help; lock the abuser outside if you can

Call 911 (or your local emergency number) right away for help; get the dispatcher`s name

Think about a neighbor or friend you can run to for help

If a police officer comes, tell him/her what happened; get his/her name & badge number

Get medical help if you are hurt

Take pictures of bruises or injuries

Learn where to get help; memorize emergency phone numbers

Keep a phone in a room you can lock from the inside; if you can, get a cellular phone that you keep with you at all times

If the abuser has moved out, change the locks on your door; get locks on the windows

Ask your neighbors to call the police if they see the abuser at your house; make a signal for them to call the police, for example, if the phone rings twice, a shade is pulled down or a light is on

Get an unlisted phone number

Block caller ID

Use an answering machine; screen the calls

Take a good self-defense course

Think about where you would go if you need to escape

PLAN WHERE YOU WILL GO,

WHO YOU WILL STAY WITH,

WHERE YOU WILL KEEP YOUR CAR KEYS,

WHERE YOU WILL HAVE YOUR PURSE, MONEY AND CREDIT CARDS

Plan an escape route out of your home; teach it to your children

Pack a bag with important things you`d need if you had to leave quickly; put it in a safe place, or give it to a friend or relative you trust

Include cash, car keys & important information such as: court papers, passport or birth certificates, medical records & medicines, immigration papers

HOW TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN SAFER

Teach them not to get in the middle of a fight, even if they want to help

Teach them how to get to safety, to call 911, to give your address & phone number to the police

Teach them who to call for help

Tell them to stay out of the kitchen

Give the principal at school or the daycare center a copy of your court order; tell them not to release your children to anyone without talking to you first; use a password so they can be sure it is you on the phone; give them a photo of the abuser

Make sure the children know who to tell at school if they see the abuser

Make sure that the school knows not to give your address or phone number to ANYONE

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF OUTSIDE THE HOME

Change your regular travel habits

Try to get rides with different people

Shop and bank in a different place

Cancel any bank accounts or credit cards you shared; open new accounts at a different bank

Keep your court order and emergency numbers with you at all times

Keep a cell phone & program it to 911 (or other emergency number)

HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF SAFER AT WORK

Keep a copy of your court order at work

Give a picture of the abuser to security and friends at work

Ask a security guard to walk you to your car or to the bus

If the abuser calls you at work, save voice mail and save e-mail

Tell your supervisors - see if they can make it harder for the abuser to find you

Don`t go to lunch alone

Your employer may be able to help you find community resources

USING THE LAW TO HELP YOU

Protection or Restraining Orders

Ask your local domestic violence program who can help you get a civil protection order and who can help you with criminal prosecution

In most places, the judge can:

Order the abuser to stay away from you or your children

Order the abuser to leave your home

Order the police to come to your home while the abuser picks up personal belongings

Give you possession of the car, furniture and other belongings

Give you temporary custody of your children & order the abuser to pay you temporary child support

Order the abuser to go to a batterers intervention program

Order the abuser not to call you at work

Order the abuser to give guns to the police

If you are worried about any of the following, make sure you:

Show the judge any pictures of your injuries

Tell the judge that you do not feel safe if the abuser comes to your home to pick up the children to visit with them

Ask the judge to order the abuser to pick up and return the children at the police station or some other safe place

Ask that any visits the abuser is permitted are at very specific times so the police will know by reading the court order if the abuser is there at the wrong time

Tell the judge if the abuser has harmed or threatened the children; ask that visits be supervised; think about who could do that for you

Get a certified copy of the court order

Keep the court order with you at all times

CRIMINAL PROCEEDINGS

Show the prosecutor your court orders

Show the prosecutor medical records about your injuries or pictures if you have them

Tell the prosecutor the name of anyone who is helping you (a victim advocate or a lawyer)

Tell the prosecutor about any witnesses to injuries or abuse

Ask the prosecutor to notify you ahead of time if the abuser is getting out of jail BE SAFE AT THE COURTHOUSE

Sit as far away from the abuser as you can; you don`t have to look at or talk to the abuser; you don`t have to talk to the abuser`s family or friends if they are there

Bring a friend or relative with you to wait until your case is heard

Tell a bailiff or sheriff that you are afraid of the abuser and ask him/her to look out for you

Make sure you have your court order before you leave

Ask the judge or the sheriff to keep the abuser there for a while when court is over; leave quickly

If you think the abuser is following you when you leave, call the police immediately

If you have to travel to another State for work or to get away from the abuser, take your protection order with you; it is valid everywhere